masih pagi

Standard

hari masih pagi.
baru 10.35.
and my heart already skipped a beat twice.

satu kali,
saat dia (secara bercanda) menceritakan sebab kenapa dia putus dengan pacarnya.
i know it was an exaggerating lie.
saya tahu saya pun apatis menghadapi hal-hal seperti ini.
but my heart skipped a beat, just the same.

satu kali lagi,
saat mendadak nama dia (yang lain) muncul di inbox saya, melalui forward-an email teman saya yang (ternyata memang) berasal dari dia.
nama itu sudah lama luruh. nyaris terlupa, dan menolak untuk diingat.
terlalu banyak kebodohan, kekecewaan dan sakit hati di sana.
my heart skipped a beat.
hampir refleks, saya nyaris meraih ponsel dan mengirimkan sms sapaan apa kabar.
it’s been a while. it’s been too long.
tapi saya tahu saya bodoh bila melakukannya.
ponsel saya letakkan kembali.
hell, i need distraction.
but the other line is just not answering!

my heart skipped two beats.
this early, on Monday.


this is just too much to take!

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